Master your emotions and be happier!
Welcome to Session 2 of my online series The Keys to Greater Happiness – Living the Life You Want.
In my first session, I introduced my readers to The Triad of Emotion.
Understanding the Triad of Emotion is crucial to our happiness because when we master our emotions and understand what it means to be emotionally healthy we are in a better position to maintain and sustain our happiness.
So, happiness means mastering your emotions or to put it another way master your emotions and be happier!
If you haven’t read the first session in my online series around The Keys to Happiness – Living the Life You Want please click here if you want to get up to speed.
Now let’s move on with session 2. And, as per my first session, set your intention when reading this article too.
The Triad of Emotion continued
Just to reiterate very briefly, when you master your emotional health you will master your life.
There are 3 forces that determine what you feel. Understanding these three forces and how to use them to your advantage is key.
The 3 forces are Focus, Language & Physiology.
We’ve covered the first force related to the Triad of Emotion which was Focus. If you haven’t read that session, read it here now.
Let’s talk about Language.
Language as a Force
Language comes in many forms, one of which includes the questions you ask yourself, either aloud or inside your head.
If you ask “why does this always happen to me?”, you’ll create a much different set of emotions than if you asked “how can I benefit from this?’ or “where’s the gift in this?” or “what’s humorous about this”.
The language patterns you run play a significant role in the meaning you give a situation and the emotion that situation creates in you because fo the language you use.
When you feel negative emotions taking over, look at the language surrounding your situation. How can you shift it to create a more empowering state?
Now, if I’m saying to myself “I’m hopeless, I can’t do anything”, how is that going to serve me? Will that put me into a resourceful state – absolutely not. So, change it.
I might say and this is a very simple reframe “I can do anything I set my mind to, I have everything I need within me right now? And consider the word “anything” – that’s a global attribution meaning you are applying it to everything, now that’s simply not true, that is a falsehood because there are plenty of things you can do and have done.
I have to say here that the first statement above is coming from a belief too.
Some beliefs are unresourceful, that don’t serve, nurture, support and empower us in having what we want whether that’s greater happiness or wealth. Many of these are unconscious by the way so it’s learning how to pick up on them and often times we can hear them in what we say when we become aware or in what we are experiencing in our lives and often our environment will reflect an underlying belief.
To learn more about beliefs and how to change them, read my article Can Beliefs be Changed? How to change beliefs to change your life!
And I have to say here that none of this is just about thinking positively, it’s more than that, it’s about embodying what we are thinking. I’ll go into more depth in my next article.
But, it’s not enough to say a positive affirmation in the mirror 10 times a day “I love myself, I love myself, I love myself”. Of course, that’s better than saying I hate myself, but we need to start feeling that emotion, embodying what we are saying and believing it.
Just to continue with language a little more.
You must state things in the positive, that is for example:
I want to be happy or I want more happiness in my life
An even better way is to state it in the present tense:
I am happy
I have more happiness in my life now
Now, the great thing about the above statements are that the last two presuppose you are already happy or that you already are but that you just want more.
When we use language and state things from a position of wanting we are asking for this in the future and we are energetically saying we are lacking. This lacking energy is unresourceful and therefore is where our focus will be. And wanting is also future based and doesn’t actually exist.
So, the point is, that presuppositions are really powerful. A presupposition is a linguistic assumption that something “is”. Hence, in our present (which is all we really have).
So, watch your language.
Watch out for the Iceberg!
The analogy of the iceberg is fitting.
We only have 10% awareness i.e. at the conscious level.
The subconscious controls the show – 90% of the iceberg underneath the water is controlling us.
So, when we speak or think something, for example “I don’t want to be or get sick” or “I don’t want to be unhappy”, “I don’t want more debt” etc etc, the subconscious mind doesn’t process the negative, so what it hears is “I want to be sick and “I want to be unhappy” or “I want more debt”.
This is huge and powerful.
Now, the other important thing about language is that if we can language what we want we can have it.
People might say I want to be happy and leave it at that.
You have to start expanding your vocabulary around it explore what happiness means for you.
For example, to me, happiness is feeling connected to myself primarily, feeling connected to others, doing fulfilling work, exploring, being creative, loving myself and others, giving, teaching and it means having variety in my life. And within each of these, it’s about getting specific about how that looks and what it really means. What does doing fulfilling work look like? What’s involved, who is involved, how is it structured, what do you feel when you’re doing it, where do you do this work etc etc.
This isn’t a comprehensive list but it’s an example of where you need to start exploring and playing with language, the language that makes you feel something.
I’m sure you can see how powerful and important language is in creating your reality and emotional state.
It really is crucial isn’t it!
A little task if you want to see some change:
- Begin to explore the language you use (raise your awareness of what’s going on inside your head, your thought processes)
- Expand your language and use presuppositions
- Begin to see the associates between the language you are using and your experience of life
- Identify what it is you want and start to get specific about what this looks like – see, hear and feel it.
- Final tip – write it down
Last step – subscribe to my site so you don’t miss my final article to complete the series on The Keys to Happiness – Living the Life You Want. It’s all about physiology and how you can create your state to be happier and achieve what you want.
I love to hear from my readers, so please let me know what you thought of this article. If you have any questions or comments, please post them.
On that note, go forth with ease and I hope to have you back.
It’s very true our words shapes us and controls our feeling and more so action. Words are a powerful tool not just towards ourselves but also towards others that we integrate with, e.g. a parent who says to his child you are good for nothing will very likely influence negative behaviour towards that child. Let us be careful what we say to ourself and also to others under our influence.
Very good article, best wishes.
Great post, thanks! All the more since happier people live longer with a better quality of life. 🙂
Thank you for sharing Master Your Emotions And Be Happier, so many of us have little control over our emotions so this article is very useful for many of your readers. I used to allow my emotions to control my life, and to be honest, I was miserable most of the time in those days.
I really enjoyed reading your post. I can relate to the iceberg effect as it were. The more I overthink and worry about situations the more it sits in my mind therefore bringing me down. I have bookmarked this page.
Your iceberg analogy is more than correct. ( %90 percent of the iceberg underneath the water is controlling us)
By mastering our inner selves, we can truly thrive and help others thrive alongside us. Your content never seems to disappoint, and that being said, you now know that you have yet another loyal reader. Keep it up!
The words that we use every day does impact our mind and emotions. I used to think passive and chose the negative vocabulary for daily life, but it only brought me unstable emotions and blue feelings in the past. After I read the law of attraction, I started practicing thinking positively about every little thing that happened in my life & picked up the optimistic words.
And guess what? Everything does become brighter to me, even for things that I used to dislike. That’s why I cannot agree more about this article. Picking up the words we use does influence our emotions. We all need to pay attention to it. Thanks for sharing today. It’s inspiring and useful.